Woe is Me: Selfish Me


Last night was a rough night.

Hopes and wishes crushed…..

My grandma called me last night, while at the hair cut store

My aunt called me…

My aunt called again, still unsure what her screams and sobs were saying to me.

My uncle called me.

Time spent with Mama and Papa MB.

Mama MB looks like a skeleton in that dim lit room.

My heart breaks.

The family quarrels.

How did I get put into the middle of it?

Life isn’t fair.

I’m a selfish brat for wishing, with all of my heart, that she doesn’t pass on my birthday. That she’s here with me, one last time on one of her most favorite days of the year!

-Hang in there    ??? How?


There is always that one…


Good Monday and Happy Veterans Day for you veterans out there!


So as you know, I’m a mess of flooded emotions; fear, anger, stress. Not to mention the hormones raging from pregnancy! It’s understandable.

Mama MB had a good weekend, she was in and out of sleep. Still has pain, though it seems to just come and go when she has to be moved or move.   Being in bed all of  the time can’t help the situation any.

So over the weekend, with all of the family times.  We have a pretty large family and all weekend they were all in and out of Mama MB’s house.  For that I am glad.

Point of the post…

One of the family members mentioned Mama MB’s son.  One of them had spoken to him and advised him of the situation, asking if he would be coming down for a visit. He’s all the way in MA.  I don’t care for him. I don’t want him here. He’s caused Mama MB nothing but heart ache and pain since he’s came into our lives.

Now I’m in a spot where I want to ask the family not to speak to him, not to invite him to see her. That he isn’t welcome, because in my personal opinion.. He is NOT welcomed in our lives. I do not want him here to witness her sick times.

I’ve removed him from my life, completely and haven’t spoken to him in a long long time. I’d love to keep it that way.

I’ve told a few family members how I feel, but I’ve yet to muster the guts to bring it up to Papa MB.  only time will tell if I’m able to do so.

Besides I know the sorry POS “son” of hers isn’t going to show his face around here ever again.  One can hope anyway 😉

-Hang in there!

It’s hard to love one another sometimes (blogspot)

*Note to reader aka Dingleberries:  This post has become 2 posts in one, due to the nature of my thoughts today, no need in making you come back twice, three times, four?  Whatever. Enjoy, or don’t.  I enjoy you stopping by*

Pokey and I came home yesterday and our routine is to immediately take Turdius MAXimus out for his afternoon walk.

I always heard growing up that Chihuahua is a lazy person’s dog. You can just pick them up, hold them out the window and squeeze.  Rather than walking them and letting them do their duty, let me just tell you… That doesn’t work, not at all, rather than him doing his duty he will snap and bite at you. They lied to me.   

So we leash him up, Pokey is grabbing her snack to go and we head out.  Rather than taking our normal direction we go down the way in front of our building.  This man and woman pull up and get this …. This dumb ho woman proceeds to yell, from the passenger side of her car that “the dog park is over there”.  I’m like what the frak is she talking about? Looking at her with a dumb look on my face; I’m still unsure. She then proceeds to tell me ” Stop walking your dog in front of my building letting it crap” By then I know what the frak she is talking about and I’m not happy.

Rant to follow, look away:

I clean up my dog shit, just like the sign tells me! I too have to avoid the land mines riddling the fronts of OUR building. You stupid ho need to realize what the hell you are talking about and who you are throwing blame at, because I go above and beyond to be sure I don’t leave my dogs SHIT in the grass because just like you, you stupid bitch I don’t enjoy stepping in shit either.  So Eff off you stupid ho

To avoid conflict and getting my ass beat down in front of my daughter and my dog I simply tell her that I have bags for my dogs poop. That I’m not leaving his crap in front of her building.  She then tells me “The dog park is over there”. What the fuck is wrong with this bitch?  I simply look at her and her man driver and let them know I’m aware of where the dog park is and tell them I’m good. Continuing my walk.

I stewed over that for the rest of the night. It bothered me that this bitch woman would dare approach someone like that. Act like a stupid cunt and yell from her car accusing me of something like leaving dog shit laying in the grass.  How dare she act that way with my child and my dog present. I hope I left my child with a good example of how to handle bitches like that.  Just sad she had to be there to see a cruel woman like that and her angry way of talking to someone.

I just had to share that with you all, it bugged me and I know they seen me walking my dog in the dog park today I just hope they see me walking my dog in front of their building again today and just like last night, I will be there tonight as well. I’m not breaking my routine for some dumb ho, she can just invest more time to pay attention she will see who is doing it, I already know, but I’m not telling!

Can you believe that woman?

One more short thing for right now, work story. I try to keep it short. 

The new guy called in this morning, so my boss tells me when I get in at 830am. He’s going to be running late, he has to put his dog down. Poor thang.

So later I hear one of the guys on the phone with him, bashing on him for being sad. For having feelings about his 9 year old dog getting hit by a car, not knowing if she will make it. Not knowing if they will put her down or what?

I couldn’t believe the insensitivity of this asshole. How badly he spoke of the dog. What a fucking asshole. I couldn’t take it this morning. He’s on my eat shit list today.  I’m not happy with him and the way he handled that situation. I can’t imagine being friends with someone like that.

What was it the preacher man said, Love one another?  It’s so hard sometimes, when things like this happen. I don’t know what has happened to me, but something has clicked and my sensitive side is all over the place. arg!!!

Forgive the realness of today’s post, just wish people weren’t so cruel these days!