Too much hope




I’m lost without you, have no idea where you’ve gone. Life is unfair that you’re gone.  It’s not the same with you not here!

So apparently my insurance company offers a prenatal support thing or something…  I didn’t really pay the best of attentions..  No big surprise there.

Yesterday she asked me if I’d been experiencing any sadness or depression or things along those lines. Being the terrible liar that I am, I said yes, on an unrelated note,  I do have sadness and depression. She said they would have someone in that division call me.

I perked up a little, could it be that something could fall into place for me right now?  That perhaps I won’t have to do all of the searching and looking and hoping for the right therapist to come along. If there is such a thing?

I’m desperately seeking a therapist, never have I done this in my lifetime.

I’m such a mess right now and though I know it’s due to the loss of Mama MB but I’m also wondering if the  prego hormones have anything to do with this also..

As I’ve said before, and I mean it still.  I want to get away from this place, get away from this family of mine. From these friends of mine.

If I still feel this way next year, it could be a good excuse to do just that. Though I fear there may harder than I ever imagined.. Here’s to hoping I’m out of this slump come next year.

Is it too much to hope?


8 responses

  1. Have you applied to any and all scholarships for the culinary schools yet? Just a thought, but might get you out. Supposedly grants are supposed to be easier to get now. Don’t know if that’s true though… Sending (((Hugs))) Glad to see you back and remember, therapist are like shoes… you just have to try them out until you find one that is a good fit for you! 😀

    • Never heard of it like that before.. I’ve all but given up hope on the culinary thing for the time being. While getting out will be good, I’m worried I will just miss too much school with the new baby coming… I’m like whatevs.. 31 years old and still no idea what I want to be when I grow up 😉

      • Never give up Hope darling, (I actually forgot about the baby…. sorry) but my mother and my sister finished college in their mid to late 30’s so it’s ALWAYS a possibility. There are a lot of online classes you can do too if you want to stay current. Both of my kids took online classes while in school… they did have to go to campus once or twice a semester though for finals, etc.

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