It’s better to love and lose?



Mama MB’s birthday was yesterday, she’s at the young age of 48.  It wasn’t a happy celebration if you ask me.

I didn’t ask her, I dare not ask her much of anything these days. She’s insist on lying to me, to everyone. I hate to call it lying, because it may not be a lie. She just neglects to tell us anything. When asked she says fine. I’m a woman too ya know Mama MB? I think I know that when we use the word fine. We are in fact NOT fine.  

It’s weird being this close to someone who is suffering so much.  To see them suffer in silence and to just stumble through what’s left of their life with a pain and shutting everyone out.

What can one do? What would you do?

Yesterday I posted that it’s hard to come to terms with losing someone you love so much, someone you’ve loved your whole life. Not like your significant other, it’s something more.

For those who say  it’s better to have loved and lost than to never love at all…. Try it!  You let me know how you can call that better.  I think they’re wrong.


6 responses

  1. I have always thought that anyone who say it’s better to have loved and lost than to never love at all… has actually never lost a loved one.

    Stay strong. My thoughts are with you.

  2. Love it… LOL. I remember when my son told me that I was going down hill on my 30th birthday. He said it didn’t matter how far down I went, I was just on my way down. LOL I reminded him of that on HIS 30th birthday and then explained that my philosophy is to first either go backwards the birthdays before I get too old, or just pick a number to use as my age and say I’m ____ with 15 years experience.

    I remember when my father died when I was 25. We were very close & it took me years to fully get over all the stages of grief. They come and go with time, it’s not like a set of steps you can just walk up and yea…. you’ve made it. Journaling helped me because I had a lot of mis-directed anger (which is totally normal) and there were the things I wanted to say, think or feel, but didn’t want anyone else to know.
    It helped me, but then I decided to get a degree in counseling (in schools) since I had so much experience with rotten luck or rotten life… whichever way you want to look it. Counseling or talking to a minister may help, I’d try to encourage the journaling first, but that’s just me. Good luck!

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